I Didn’t Go to My Freshers’ Fair. Here’s What I’d Tell My Younger Self.

I didn’t go to my Freshers’ Fair.

Looking back now, knowing what I know about ADHD and my own brain, that really doesn’t surprise me.

I was too nervous. The idea of walking into a huge hall full of strangers, tables, leaflets, noise and people trying to convince me to join societies I’d never heard of was more than I could face.

So I didn’t go.

I stayed in my room instead, probably telling myself I’d “catch the next one”.

I did not catch the next one.

Did it ruin my time at university? No.

I don’t think it caused me any real problems at all. I made friends eventually, found my people in other ways, got through my degree and built a life.

Freshers’ Fair was not the make-or-break moment it can sometimes feel like when you’re 18 and everything about university is new.

But if I could go back and do it again, knowing what I know now about my brain, I think I probably would go.

Not because I missed some essential rite of passage.

But because I think I could have handled it if I’d had a plan instead of just… hoping I’d cope.

Why Freshers’ Fair Can Feel Like A LOT With ADHD

When I think about Freshers’ Fair now, I can see why younger me took one look at the whole thing and thought, “Nope.”

There’s noise everywhere. Hundreds of people. Conversations happening around you. Bright displays. Leaflets being handed to you. Decisions to make. New faces. New social rules.

And you’re somehow supposed to work out which of the 100 societies in front of you you might like to join while somebody is enthusiastically explaining Ultimate Frisbee.

That’s a lot for anyone.

For someone with ADHD, it can be even more overwhelming.

ADHD can affect things like attention, organisation, working memory and impulse control. The NHS has more information about ADHD and how it can affect everyday life.

ADHD in Children and young people

And then there’s everything else that comes with starting university.

You’re navigating a new place, new people, new routines and, for many young people, living away from home for the first time.

We’ve written more about that in You Don’t Need to Have It All Figured Out: Moving Out, ADHD and Looking After Yourself, including some of the practical things that can make that transition feel a little less overwhelming.

Read our Blog here

Nobody Told Me I Was Allowed to Have a Plan

That’s the bit that gets me now.

Nobody ever told me it was allowed to have a plan.

It felt like there were two options.

Go to the fair.

Or don’t go to the fair.

Nobody said I could pick three stalls before I went in and completely ignore the rest.

Nobody said taking earplugs was a strategy, not a strange thing to do.

Nobody said I could find out where the exit was before I started.

And nobody told me that I didn’t need to have a whole personality ready to deploy every time I reached a table.

If someone had handed me a plan like this back then, I think Freshers’ Fair might have felt like a manageable Tuesday afternoon rather than an event I quietly opted out of and never really mentioned to anyone.

So that’s what this is.

Not a lecture about what you “should” do.

Just the plan I wish somebody had given me.

My ADHD-Friendly Freshers’ Fair Plan

Pick three stalls before you go in.

Give the room some edges.

Look at the list of societies beforehand, choose three that actually interest you and make those your mission.

Everything else is optional.

You are absolutely allowed to walk straight past the rest.

Bring earplugs and know your exit.

If noise is difficult for you, take earplugs or headphones.

Work out where you can step outside for five minutes if you need to.

Leaving the room to reset isn’t failing at Freshers’ Fair. It’s knowing what you need and actually doing something about it.

Remember that one sentence is enough.

You do not need to suddenly become the most confident person in the room.

You need:

“Hi, can I put my name down?”

That’s it.

That’s the whole interaction if you want it to be.

Take the leaflet and decide later.

You don’t have to make every decision standing in a noisy hall while six other things are competing for your attention.

Take the leaflet. Screenshot the QR code. Follow their Instagram.

Then make your actual decision later, somewhere your brain has room to think.

Message one person afterwards.

Not five.

Not everybody you spoke to.

One.

Maybe it’s someone you met at a stall. Maybe it’s somebody from your course. Maybe it’s someone you connected with online.

One connection is plenty.

And If You Don’t Go? That’s OK Too.

This is probably the bit I most want girls to hear.

If none of this feels doable, and a room full of strangers genuinely feels like too much this year, you haven’t failed at university because you didn’t go to Freshers’ Fair.

I didn’t go.

I still made friends.

I still found people I liked.

I still got my degree.

Freshers’ Fair is one opportunity to find your people. It isn’t the only one.

You might meet someone on your course. In your accommodation. Through a group chat. At a smaller society event a few weeks later. You might connect with one person who introduces you to another person, and suddenly things don’t feel quite so unfamiliar.

And you don’t have to find your whole friendship group in the first week either.

There can be so much pressure around Freshers’ Week to make friends immediately, as though everyone else has somehow found their people by Friday.

They haven’t.

Give yourself time.

Sometimes finding your people starts with walking into a room full of strangers.

Sometimes it starts with saying hello to the person sitting next to you in a lecture.

Both count.

What I’d Tell My Younger Self

I didn’t go to my Freshers’ Fair, and I turned out fine.

But I also think I might have had an easier first few weeks if somebody had told me I didn’t have to experience university in exactly the same way as everybody else.

I could make a plan.

I could leave when I’d had enough.

I could do three stalls rather than thirty.

I could find people in my own way.

So, if you’re the girl currently staring down a hall full of leaflets and people and noise thinking you might just skip the whole thing, I get it completely.

You don’t have to prove anything by walking through those doors.

But if part of you really does want to go, make it work for your brain.

Pick your three.

Find your exit.

Take the leaflet.

And remember, one conversation is enough.

You don’t have to conquer Freshers’ Fair.

You just have to do it your way.